Dating Site Dictionary

“I want someone that thinks I am the greatest thing on Earth” = Beware of Oedipus complex

Sports & Exercise: “Other types of exercise” + Exercise Habits: “1-2x/week” = Part-time lover

“What little free time I do have I spend sitting and staring forward, watching horror films, drinking, crying, and eating cheese” = Too busy to date. . . thankfully!

“I prefer to live my life in a fantasy world” = “Meet me in Second Life“

Answer to question #11:  “Wow, there sure are a lot of questions on this thing!” =  “I have the attention span for 2 dates”

“I like to browse psych books and learn about my mind. I’m kind of scattered” = Academic schizophrenic

Last read: “How to be an Adult in Relationships. I’m still reading it” = “You started it!!”

“I have played with numerous bands playing a wide variety of styles, and that has brought me all kinds of opportunities and allowed me to meet a ton of great people” = “Groupies never get old”

“I love learning” = “I’ll learn from you and marry the next woman”

“Sometimes I feel like a ping-pong ball, if you put me in front of a room I’ll make people laugh!” = “Did you hear the one about the ping pong ball that sometimes stands in front of a room and makes people laugh?”

“Dancing will be great although I don’t want to go with some ugly doll” = Pinocchio standing up to Geppetto before Prom

“I like to chirp like a canary” = Safe sex takes on new meaning

“I am outgoing and very spontaneou” = Has difficulty completing things