Dating Site Dictionary: Night 15
Tip of Today (there won’t be one every day): there are a lot of men using pictures of Pierce Brosnan among their online dating profile pictures.
- Women – keep this window open to cross-reference his pictures with pictures of Pierce Brosnan.
- Men – time to find some photos that don’t appear in Google image search results
I assure you, none of these was written by Pierce Brosnan:
“Yadda yadda yadda wocka wocka wocka” = “‘I love you”
“The only current missing piece is a vacant spot on my arm” = “As soon as I can get this ring off my finger and this wife off my arm, I’ll call you.”
“I have yet to be on America’s Most Wanted” = “. . . so, when I yell ‘DRIVE!’ you get us the f@ck out of here!”
“If I were on Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, Henrietta would take one look at me and say, ‘Meow, meow if I weren’t a hand puppet, I’d hit it, meow.’” = Crafting the perfect dating profile can sometimes trigger an acid flashback
“Helped invent GPS guided bombing” = “Don’t break up with me, or else. . . “
“I like to make up stupid lyrics to well known songs” = Weird Al is on JDate
“My friends all say that I never give girls a chance and that I am too picky. I don’t feel that there is such a thing as too picky” = “You don’t stand a chance”
“Will try anything once” = “Bring a friend. I swear it’s the first time I’m doing this”
“Raised Catholic, but have learned to distrust organized religion.” = Raised Catholic
“I can be lazy, but I really don’t want to be lazy” = Really fucking lazy
“I want to be an actor/writer. I have never done any drugs.” = The difference between “wanting” and becoming is drugs
“I’m a sometimes college professor” = Higher standards in education desperately needed
“The problem with me is that I’m not your typical LA Duche” = “I’m the one that’s missing the O”
“im down to earth, iv got a sence of humor, im funn to be around, i love going out n partying when i can, i have my own landscape design bussnies that keeps me busy” = “im assking u owt”
