Posts Tagged ‘Musician’
Dating Site Dictionary: Night 14
“Last thing I read was a script. It wasn’t very good. That happens a lot” = M. Night Shyamalan is on Match.com
“I’m not a shopper, I’m a guy. I go buy things” = “I’m not a cheater, I’m a guy. I . . . “
“Occupation: I am a living, breathing stereotype. Except for the flakiness, drug addicted, stench of loser-dom part” = Actor
“I was going to stick my head in the oven, but decided that this would be a sub-optimal solution” = “Suicide. . .? Online dating. . . ? Suicide. . . ? Online dating. . . ? Suicide. . . ?”
Interests: garage sailing = Not going very far
“(My apologies, but for search purposes on Match – My age is 43 not 40)” = “Looking for an (18 – 3) year-old”
“I clean before my maid shows up” = “Here’s your earring. . . Please leave before my wife shows up!”
“I don’t let it take over my life but I allow myself my threes, particularly on a stressful day” = Favorite Movie: What About Bob?
“I am equally motivated by intellect and creativity, leading me to become a medical doctor, investor, and singer/songwriter” = “Seeking someone who will believe I’m a single doctor, with loads of money, who plays guitar and sings”
“I have lots of help at home, so I am both physically and emotionally available” = Lives with mom
“I’ve been using Pandora a lot lately. It tells me what music I like” = “Facebook tells me who my friends are. Twitter tells me who to follow. . . What good is technology if it can’t think for you?!”
“If you are no so smart and not so good looking… then I’M GAY!!” = No so smart
Dating Site Dictionary: Night 12
“I would say that I don’t lie, which in itself would be a lie but I sincerely work hard at being honorable” = Sincere, honorable, compulsive liar
“I’ll be succinct” + 6 paragraph profile = Short story long
“Even when we can’t make love anymore and all we could do is play bingo” = Still looking for that G
“I want someone who “Compliments” me” = We’ll complement each other well, as long as you tell me I’m “Amazing”
“Did I mention that I was sexy?…(lol)” = No, but you’re forgetful and funny
“I’m looking for a partner in crime. Someone I can count on to be there when I fall. To help me get up, brush me off and push me to do it again” = Be prepared to bail me out of jail. . . multiple times.
“I work in the music biz, support behind the scenes” = drug runner
“I still love my wife” = Married But Playing
“I like shopping for groceries at the mall” = Corn dogs and flat soda for lunch
“I came here to pick my woman” = “I like shopping for women on JDate”
“I have been amused, charmed, and had a few laughs at some of the profiles here” = Reads DatingSiteDictionary.com
“The attraction barometer is what it’s all about” = The Attraction Barometer – soon to be a top-seller at SkyMall
“I don’t have the buttocks exposing work guy pants however” = Plumber envy
“I forgot more than most men know” = This can’t be a good thing
“When my mother died, I quit working to take care of her” = Takes the saying “better late than never” too literally
“I work for an advertizing agency” = “This is one of my best campaigns: 15 Best Things About Our Pubic Schools“
Dating Site Dictionary: Night 10
“I want someone that thinks I am the greatest thing on Earth” = Beware of Oedipus complex
Sports & Exercise: “Other types of exercise” + Exercise Habits: “1-2x/week” = Part-time lover
“What little free time I do have I spend sitting and staring forward, watching horror films, drinking, crying, and eating cheese” = Too busy to date. . . thankfully!
“I prefer to live my life in a fantasy world” = “Meet me in Second Life“
Answer to question #11: “Wow, there sure are a lot of questions on this thing!” = “I have the attention span for 2 dates”
“I like to browse psych books and learn about my mind. I’m kind of scattered” = Academic schizophrenic
Last read: “How to be an Adult in Relationships. I’m still reading it” = “You started it!!”
“I have played with numerous bands playing a wide variety of styles, and that has brought me all kinds of opportunities and allowed me to meet a ton of great people” = “Groupies never get old”
“I love learning” = “I’ll learn from you and marry the next woman”
“Sometimes I feel like a ping-pong ball, if you put me in front of a room I’ll make people laugh!” = “Did you hear the one about the ping pong ball that sometimes stands in front of a room and makes people laugh?”
“Dancing will be great although I don’t want to go with some ugly doll” = Pinocchio standing up to Geppetto before Prom
“I like to chirp like a canary” = Safe sex takes on new meaning
“I am outgoing and very spontaneou” = Has difficulty completing things
