Dating Site Dictionary

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Posts Tagged ‘Vegas

Dating Site Dictionary: Night 13

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“I have a high energy level at the moment and I tend to only read for pleasure before going to sleep” = “The articles in Playboy help me sleep”

“First to die when the alien invasion, drug cartel, and/or ghosts/ghost drug cartels arrive” = “My therapist is away and my prescription ran out”

“My undies are always clean thanks to TIDE (fabreze sport version)” = *Sponsored dating profile

“I like contact, giving a massage is one of my favorite thing to do” = Also has an ad in the back of the LA Weekly

“I love kids – well behaved ones…lol I am a Christian” = Christians only love well-behaved kids, haha

“I’m as honest as you can expect a man to be in a world where it’s going out of style” = “Lying is cool”

“I follow Jesus. I am not, however, religious” = Follows Jesus on Twitter

“Please don’t let my appearance intimidate you” = His picture also appears here

“Even things my parrot says are insightful” = Dumber than a parrot

“My personality is so magnetic I can’t carry credit cards” = “My magnetic personality doesn’t pay for dinner”

“I am an actor and do computer consulting on the side” = Dyslexic computer consultant who waits tables on the side

“Certain things I say are gonna make your head twist around like an animal when it hears a strange noise” = This is called a disclaimer

“You can never have enough friends, that have jobs, are sane, caring and like Vegas….” = “Looking for stable women to support my gambling addiction”

“I hang out by the monkey bars” = Registered sex offender

“The way you know a really good Thai dish is prepared well is if it’s sweet, spicy, sour, and salty. And that’s how I like my women. Lots of different textures and flavors make a woman a lot more interesting” = Cannibalistic tendencies

“I collect bottles and cans” = As revealed on Monday, Beck is on OkCupid

“I am actually “kind of” smart” = “Smart enough to know I’m not ‘that’ smart”

“I respond well to positive reinforcement” = Fortune cookie say: Needs encouragement. . .  in bed.

“Just looking for someone too share some time with who enjoys the things I do going out too dinners watch t.v. go too movies or whatever I am a very compassionate person who really loves too please a woman in all ways” = This sentence is “too” long

“Sometimes I’ll be out with my friends and ditch them at 11:30pm just so i can get to Poncho Villa for a burrito before it closes…priorities!!!!!!! = Don’t be surprised if he leaves you for a burrito

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