Posts Tagged ‘video games’
Dating Site Dictionary: Night 10
“I want someone that thinks I am the greatest thing on Earth” = Beware of Oedipus complex
Sports & Exercise: “Other types of exercise” + Exercise Habits: “1-2x/week” = Part-time lover
“What little free time I do have I spend sitting and staring forward, watching horror films, drinking, crying, and eating cheese” = Too busy to date. . . thankfully!
“I prefer to live my life in a fantasy world” = “Meet me in Second Life“
Answer to question #11: “Wow, there sure are a lot of questions on this thing!” = “I have the attention span for 2 dates”
“I like to browse psych books and learn about my mind. I’m kind of scattered” = Academic schizophrenic
Last read: “How to be an Adult in Relationships. I’m still reading it” = “You started it!!”
“I have played with numerous bands playing a wide variety of styles, and that has brought me all kinds of opportunities and allowed me to meet a ton of great people” = “Groupies never get old”
“I love learning” = “I’ll learn from you and marry the next woman”
“Sometimes I feel like a ping-pong ball, if you put me in front of a room I’ll make people laugh!” = “Did you hear the one about the ping pong ball that sometimes stands in front of a room and makes people laugh?”
“Dancing will be great although I don’t want to go with some ugly doll” = Pinocchio standing up to Geppetto before Prom
“I like to chirp like a canary” = Safe sex takes on new meaning
“I am outgoing and very spontaneou” = Has difficulty completing things
Dating Site Dictionary: Night 6
This morning I received the following email from JDate: “Make Him Fall For You: The ‘secret psychology’ of what makes a man fall in love and keeps him hooked for the long term.” And surprisingly, not one of their tips suggests creating a website like this. So, I may be single a while. . . deconstructing online dating profiles. . . one by one:
Not necessarily looking, but don’t want blinders on” = Married, not blind
“Occasionally I slow down to do a little gardening” = Grows weed
“I don’t want to sit around in restaurants talking to ‘victims’ and being earnest” = Self-esteem honors student who was kicked out of bartending school
“I went into a career nose-dive when I swapped my dream for someone else’s. No regrets” = Passive-aggressive underachiever
“I am not afraid to fail” = Fearless underachiever
” *If you are a single mother, I am really not interested. I think that is great you have kids. I would just prefer to date someone who does not” = “Can I get your daughter’s number?”
“I’m loyal to a fault and find the best in people” = Paid for the “ProfilePro” upgrade
“I went to my last marriage counseling session dressed as Scoobie Doo” = Should have paid for ProfilePro upgrade
“I went to the Ihateanimals website and it was a porn site” = Should have paid for ProfilePro upgrade
“I’m a very inquisitive person” = What would you most know like to know about me?
“I am tired of being asked if I have coke” = If I had coke, I wouldn’t be tired
“I’m a business manager who started in video games” = SIMS high scorer
“My friends all hate me for my irrepressibly happy mood right after I wake up” = Selfish lover, who has slept with all his friends
“Yea, it sounds nerdy but I can start a fire!” = Self-conscious arsonist
“And I actually AM 37″ = Identifies with Pinocchio
“Of course, when you think about it, the only reason people really have hobbies is so they won’t drink” = Hobbies are for losers
“First off, I’m hilarious” = See “Cool“
“I roll with ups and downs of life and it takes a lot to get me upset.” = Drug of choice: Ecstasy
“Who am I?” = Be prepared to find out because that’s who we’ll talk about
“I read enough at work” = “Children’s menu please. . . “
“I’d like to think I’m the total package” = Creative thinker
“Six-pack abs are included” = Favorite channel: HSN
“I’d like to find a woman who has earned self-confidence and can give me the benefit of the doubt” = “I have not earned my self-confidence”
“I was raised by a big C-Catholic mother.” = You’ll meet his mother when you visit him in Hell
“I tend to travel for work occasionally” = Tending to do something occasionally is real talent
“I find I meld best with people who, as I do, like to try new things and don’t get bored doing whatever/whenever” = Sex addict with A.D.D.
